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Friday, November 28, 2003
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I know why I like "Waiting in Vain" so much now... I can so relate daw! Basta, madami kaming can relate to that song. Ahaha, no, it doesn't hurt as much as before. As if anything happened anyway! Sheesh, feeling ko lang talaga.
So. The Fab Team Fontana Weekend turned out to be more of an anti-burnout, barkada bonding session with the usual inuman (ugh, killing a case and a half among seven people with non drinkers like me? Peer pressure!), kwentuhan, asaran, the usual oversharing. We weren't complete nor were we able to swim, but so what? It was fun in its own way. I don't even want to try to compare it to the team outing we had before. It should've been the same, but it came out different. Which is not a bad thing, in fairness. :)
Syempre, me again, can't relate at times, although I did learn a lot. I mean it. I think I have to change some things in my life which I mentioned to them. It helped to have their pov din on things--I really began considering things by yesterday evening because of some interesting advice given. But anyway... I learned more about myself, but a lot more on other things. Goodness. Some things can't shock me so much anymore. Hee.
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I'm back in Manila and I am so sleepy. Mai Mai and I (with all our luggage) are in an Internet place right across the office, but we won't go the office to leave our stuff because (1) it's my off day so I am banned to go up and; (2) Mai Mai is in shorts, definitely a no-no. :) I'm so exhausted and I can't even think of logging at all tomorrow. Goodness. The past few days were fun and I don't regret going out. It wasn't really a Fab Team getaway because we weren't complete, but more of a barkada bonding thing (in a way). *sigh* Will write again later, I think Mai Mai's venting about something and some teammates just came up. :) And ano bah someone on the other side of the line of pcs is shaking it. Grr.
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Tuesday, November 25, 2003
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Ahhh... looking forward to the next few days. I'm going be away from work thanks to the holiday. And I've been so burned out lately, this break is going to be a good diversion. I just wonder about our plans, because when I left work today, everything was still up in the air! All I know is how I am going there and where were are going to be staying. After that, bahala na. Good luck na lang to us.
* * *
So I found Crushable on Friendster, thanks to Kuya tipping me off on that. *ouch* Yun lang. I'm super annoyed with myself right now. Grr. It's okay, I think my crush on him is fading anyway...
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Sunday, November 23, 2003
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I have nothing to read! I get so frustrated when that happens. I don't think I can ever read slowly (with the exception of Michael Oondatje's work). If the book is unputdownable, I really have to finish it even if I have to sleep at three am (and get up at five thirty to go to work). I've finished all the books my parents bought for me recently, so I have nothing to read and I keep putting off buying books, thinking that I can always pick that book up next time.
So today, I decided to go to the den and unearth some of the first "grown up" books I read before and never had the chance to re-read now that I am much older. Right now, I am re-reading "The Firm" by John Grisham. I read it when I was 11 and I didn't fully appreciate it--maybe I was too young. I'm enjoying reading it again, with a new mindset and a better appreciation for the concepts in the book. I read somewhere that a person has to read a good book at three phases in his life: when he is young and idealistic, middle aged and finally in the twilight years to really enjoy the author's work. Hehe, that's sort of what I feel I am doing right now.
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New clan crisis, but my cousin and I couldn't get anything out of my mom and aunt during dinner because they were seated at the other end of the table and the resto we were in was way too noisy. My cousin and I conceded that we should just wait for my bro to find out the grisly details because my cousin said my bro is the acknowledged source of information (read: chismoso! Hehe, aminado rin ako pero about clan issues, I'm not that updated. My cousin says my bro knows a lot!). But he's able to get it out of my mom, so that shouldn't be a problem. :)
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Wishing and hoping for this week. Very burned out already. Just do not make me cook! Added stress!
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Random Thoughts
I was in the ladies' room in the mall today and I was listening to some dressed up girls talking about pepper spray (btw, I was not eavesdropping. The whole crowded washroom was awfully quiet and they were talking loudly--who couldn't listen in?). Anyway, Girl 1 said her dad got her Mace. Girl 2 said that you have to have a license to carry Mace in this country, or else. Girl 1 said so she had to get a license just to protect herself? What's the logic in that?
I almost gaped at them. I don't think you need a license to carry Mace or pepper spray. At least none that I know of. My friend used to bring a canister of tear gas to school. I've been carrying Mace ever since I was a freshman in college, when I started commuting by myself and had a bad experience. How can people regulate carrying Mace when it can be easily bought in hardware stores? I didn't even know tear gas was available for self-defense until my friend showed me the canister. That was weird, although it made me think because Mace is banned in some states in the US. But then again, I don't think pepper spray is well-known here.
I was pretty amazed tonight. I got a text message from Jerk and all I could think of was that he still had my number. Aw, I was touched. It wasn't a kilig message, but still, I was surprised he still has my number after all these years. I wonder how he is. I suppose he still remembers me if he texted me, but you never know, it's just a random message. Oh well.
Friday Five
1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year.
Clean out my room, redesign my room, open a TD account, clean out my papers in the office (and get a freaking lock for my pedestal), job hunt (?).
2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again.
Mostly high school and grade school friends that I really connected with before, but somehow lost touch with when we got to college. :( They were the kind of people an insecure preteen/teen needed to be friends with in those awkward years.
3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do.
Cook (the Home Ec reject strikes again! Other than that, I do not exactly want to learn how to crochet), dance, be artsy-craftsy, apply make-up expertly, look fresh and neat the whole day.
4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit).
Give to charity, get a car, buy lots of books and VCDs, go shopping for clothes, invest the money in business or the money market... my list goes on and on.
5. List five things you do that help you relax.
Blog/journal writing, sleeping, reading, watching TV, talking to someone who knows me well. :)
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Friday, November 21, 2003
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Watched the Mandy Moore concert last night. Two words: Too short. But in fairness, she sang "I Wanna Be With You", my favorite Mandy song. But she didn't sing "Crush" which is my second fave. Oh well.
Glad I got to go out and see people from school. Aside from going to the concert with Tessa, Ivy and Day, I saw Anna K. We were all in the Upper Box (which I realized only last night, is very high up). Mai Mai was in the General Admission section, but she got to see more because she had binoculars. I'm happy I got the chance to go out as I'm so burned out. It was super fun because we brought along a poster for Mandy ("I'm missing you like Andy!")--hope she saw that. :) But if not, it's the thought that counts. ;)
The first parts of the concert were sort of boring, especially if you can't understand a thing! Like the front act of Arnee. I could not understand a thing she was singing (awful sound system). Jay-R was slightly better. Then 30 minutes after the front act (as in we were just seated in the dark), Mandy finally came out. Hee. Her ten song set was... okay, but I suppose people were expecting more than ten songs. Or even sing some of her first songs like "Crush" or "Candy". But the idea was to promote her new album, so she had to sing that. Hmm. I didn't know most of the songs (although my parents knew "Moonshadow"!) off the album, so I didn't appreciate it so much. Still, it was fun to see Mandy. She seemed genuinely nice and charming. My friends and I just wished Andy was there too (hehe). I mean, chances are, but who knows?
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One thing I also discovered last night: musicians that I really am a big fan of, I don't get to watch their concerts here, but those singers or groups that I like in a normal, not really fanatical way, I watch their concerts. Take for example, the Corrs. I listened to their CDs almost everyday when I was in college, but I was too... stingy to watch their concert here. Big regret. :(
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My bro texted me from Baguio they're in a really awful party now. Wonder if it's super cold there already? Bliz is going there tonight and Mai Mai asked her to bring her pine cones. Oh-kay. I was very amused.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2003
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I am currently suffering from phone envy! As iiin. Grr. It's the Nokia 6600. Argh. I used to drool for the 7650 mainly because of the camera--although me with a camera phone is a bit dangerous because I like taking pictures of myself. Especially with the self-timer of the 6600?! I was playing with Bo's phone the whole time! I took all sorts of pictures of me at the pc, me with Bo, me again, etc. But I could control myself from getting a new phone. As Bo said to me once, phone mortality with me is pretty low. Now, argh, I don't think so, I am very enamored with the 6600. I found it chubby looking at first, but now, goodness, I like.
It also didn't help that Bliz came up to me, waving her new 6600 saying in a sing song voice, "Monch, smile." I thought she was showing off her new phone, but it was only when I looked closer, I saw she was showing me three of the most amazing pictures of Crushable I have ever seen. *gush* And she won't delete them 'til she can send them to me...
That reminds me--I already saw a picture of Crushable's gf through Bliz's phone. She's okay naman, although everyone was saying she wasn't particularly drop-dead gorgeous. (My ever-supportive teammates said I was better-looking! Hehe, as if). So I have to get over him talaga. To think, I'm quite envious of his gf. My teammates were saying Crushable is the perfect boyfriend. Aside from the fact that he is awfully good-looking, he's super nice, affectionate and caring to his gf. As in. He really, really loves her and is so proud of her. Grr. Kainis noh? Anyway. I should stop mooning over him na talaga. I'm thinking of his flaws and I think I am getting caught up in punctuation as I hate his punctuation. It's nothing barok, I just don't like the way he punctuates (that sounds weird). But anyway. Forget it. Ugh, I hate sounding so obsessed over the guy.
Back to my phone envy (I just had to let that bit about Crushable out. It was bugging me for the past two days). Everyone has been telling me that I very well deserve a new phone... but I really can't bring myself to get a new one *boohoo*. And I love my current phone. We've been through a lot for the past two years. :) I'm attached to it in that way. But I know the main reason I am hesitating in getting a new one is because my kuripot sensibilities come to play in cases like this and I think this is just a phase I'm going through. I hope.
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Sunday, November 16, 2003
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Two bazaars and the Greenhills tiangge pretty much summed up my second weekend without work off. And now I'm tired. I didn't buy anything, except for this pretty bracelet in the Metrobank bazaar which I have to pay my dad later on (as the merchants in that bazaar will only accept payments through a Metrobank card). It sort of dawned on me today that Christmas is kind of near already. Eep. I don't particularly enjoy the season when it becomes work-related because the work piles up and means more headaches for us. Sheesh.
I'm feeling pretty bogged down at work because most of my friends are filing their resignations this week or next. I feel bad for our super because they're leaving not because of the team, but because of the work, work conditions, etc (or so I heard), but it might be taken the wrong way. I can sort of relate to their issues and we may be airing it out soon, so we'll see na lang what happens next. Everyone keeps asking me when I will go (as Bliz has said, I was the one very vocal about leaving months ago) and I just shrug. I have a vague idea about what I want to do next, but I don't want to leave yet because I have nowhere to go. And yes, I will go if something better comes along, even if it means leaving Crushable (they don't think I can leave Crushable. Hah! I can. Especially since I know he has a girlfriend! Of course I can move on--it's just a crush, right?).
Hay naku, if I only could, I would just spend my days writing or doing other things my choice. I would especially love to start writing again. I mean, I stopped writing in college because I was filled with Accounting and Finance and all the writing I did was for various industry papers (and my journal, but that was really just me whining). I stopped writing essays and short stories (the latter, I realized, I cannot do--just like poetry!). I forgot how to make titles which was the bane of my existence while working on the high school paper, but I eventually learned to like it. I forgot how to end paragraphs nicely. I forgot how fun it was to write and end essays and let someone read/criticize it. I miss writing. Maybe one day, I'll attend classes on writing again. The one and only time I did that was the summer before fourth year high school and that was fun! I was inspired by my teacher and vowed to do what he wrote as a farewell dedication to me. I miss writing. I miss the stuff I used to do, but right now I'm trying out this "corporate" thing and I am wondering if I do fit in and if I'll grow there... although I know deep inside, I'll always go back to writing (or something to do with that).
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Saturday, November 15, 2003
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Friday Five
1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space.
Messy :) --> meaning my room
2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer.
Demanding and conservative
3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pasttime.
Relaxing, satisfying & interesting
4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day.
Boring, long, frustrating, exhausting (yeah well...)
5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life.
Peaceful, comfortable, amusing, productive & exciting (for lack of a better fifth adjective)
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Tuesday, November 11, 2003
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Even if it was a looong day (log then Mai Mai's concert), I'm still up and giddy. :) I'm trawling through Friendster with my bro's account. Goodness, the people and pics I find there. :) Hmm.
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