Tuesday, February 27, 2007
post post vday notes
People have been asking me how I spent my Valentine's Day. It was at home, sleeping. It was my loneliest (as in, alone and not with friends) Vday ever, after the one in first year college which I spent, you guessed it, at home and asleep (but because we had a major project the day before). But it's okay. I dedicated that day to me (naks).

The Friday following Valentine's, I went out and got a haircut - finally! But it's not short-short like what I was thinking of. Shoulder length... and it makes me look scrawnier than usual. Sigh. Like when my friend Mims saw me, she went, "O, pumayat ka mas lalo!". Oh dear, my brother was right in saying that, but honestly, I can't see it.

Saturday - met up with Patty, Mel, Pat, Mims, Jay and Kathy for Patty's birthday dinner, post Vday hangout with the usual coffee afterwards. Ooh I miss my coffee, I've been away from it for a long time already. We had the usual kwentuhan and okray. Before dinner, we also went to Nail Tropics (we soooo love that place) for kikay girl bonding.

Following weekend, watched Blue Repertory's High School Musical in Megamall. The theater was full of kids (not to mention toddlers and babies who would cry in the middle of the show!)! It was my first time to watch a play/musical in Megamall and I found it quite odd that people could bring popcorn. And it annoyed me that even if the tickets said the play would start at a certain time, people still came in 30 minutes after.

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Posted at 11:00 PM | 0 comments
I need a life to be quoting Grey's Anatomy again, but I can't help it. I love the show (have yet to see Season Three and I am dying to!) and I can so relate to this right now:
Meredith: Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know, maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.
-The Self Destruct Button, Grey's Anatomy, 1X7

I feel like banging my head on the wall. Keep on making a fool of myself! Argh.

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Posted at 1:47 AM | 2 comments
Monday, February 26, 2007
My mom gave me my aunt's pasalubong for me from Greece. It's a keychain with charms. "To ward off the evil eye," my mom explained, pointing to the charms. "And to bring good luck," she added.

I swear, she mentioned the last part because she thinks I've had a pretty long run of bad luck and maybe this would help me. Well, yes, it's been hard for me lately...

Anyway, when I brought it to my room and placed it on my nightstand, the keychain-good luck charm promptly slid off and fell behind the table. I peered behind and saw it was wedged between the nightstand and the wall, so I tried to fish it out. I scratched my watch along the wall in the process and was still unsuccessful in getting it out. Had to move the table, causing the keychain to fall to the floor - but harder for me to reach because it was now by the study table. Hmm. So I had to do a lot of furniture moving around my room, just to get the lucky keychain.

I don't know about warding off evil, but how's that for luck?

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Posted at 10:56 PM | 1 comments
Monday, February 19, 2007
Uccchhh... I had a whole post Vday entry for uploading today, but then I woke up to a not-so okay text message. Which promptly got me back in bed with a pillow over my head. Today, my cell phone was my enemy. Sort of.

Good thing I was able to chat with Tessa today, to get my mind off things. It helped a lot! Can't wait to "pause" with her when she gets back. :)

* * *
One's heart can be broken because of so many things (I am so not talking about love life - that's definitely one thing that I'm not really concerned about mainly because I don't have any love life to worry about. Not that I mind). For Valentine's Day, as cliche as it may sound, I decided to move on and get over my durog na puso.

But as soon as I felt my heart starting to heal, something comes up again to break it. And I hate it. I know I shouldn't really like hope or wish for more on that, but I don't know. Why is it so hard?

I wish I could be as resolute as when I told my brother yesterday, "That life is over." Because it is. It should be because I made my choice and I'll stand by it.

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Posted at 10:26 PM | 2 comments
Friday, February 16, 2007
I like to change my Imood indicator over there --> in the sidebar every so often, especially when I don't feel like writing a whole blog entry. I just update my mood and write a one liner as to why that particular mood is the one I feel. It's usually "Wah, life" or something completely whiney, but nevertheless conveys my mood at the moment.

I noticed in my Imood's history, I'm always sad. It's the most common mood I use, according to their statistics since 2002. That's... sad (for lack of a better term). Today, I changed it to "positive" because it's hard being down and why am I afraid to be happy? Payback? I really don't want to think that anymore since that's what I've been doing for so long! It's like a defeatist attitude. And I don't want that.

So I'm trying my best to change. I've been praying for strength - it's really hard to be positive right now (believe me, I have the eyebags to prove how much I've been struggling to get a lot of things out of my system) - and I am hoping for the best. I will try my best to be happier, better because there are a lot of things I have to be grateful for and a lot of possibilities I have to explore. I think I'm just afraid to be happy, to change, to discover things. It's really scary, but I'm trusting in myself now and trusting in whatever is planned out for me. I'm starting to do my part and I am hoping for the best.

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Posted at 12:34 AM | 0 comments
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Nothing more pleasurable than a slice of Triple Chocolate Mousse, coffee and a long conversation with a good friend. (Oh, wait, but another experience is coffee and Internet at the Makati Shang Lobby Lounge, as what I did once with Tessa, Angel and Raffy. I have never had such posh coffee! Ahaha, but that deserves another entry in itself.)

A couple of weeks ago, Patty and I went out for coffee after watching her cousin's play in Miriam and sat down for three or so hours just talking about everything and nothing. We talked about life, work, plans, hopes, dreams, kerfuffles (well unfortunately, only mine, haha), other people (can't resist) and so on. Everything and nothing. We like to talk about stuff we've talked about before because we like to come up with new ideas and rethink our previous thoughts. It's always nice to do so.

Talking like that - and with people who know me quite well - makes everything so new yet familiar, so distant yet near.

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Posted at 11:24 AM | 2 comments
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
I like this forwarded text message from P:
Take too many pics, laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt because every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Waaah! I like! Yes, I will begin to take too many pictures (thanks to my camera phone and the absence of a real live camera! I am a smug girl because I finally learned to transfer pictures from my phone to the pc - I am a technophobe, unfortunately, but I'm working on that), laugh too much with my friends (oh my gosh! We always do that, so we've realized serious talks are quite rare, but it's okay because it happens too. And when it gets to the serious stuff, my friends are always there) and love like I've never been hurt (well, ngek, that's different). And so I try to live each day - although it doesn't seem so, there is a realization for that and I try my best.

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Posted at 10:57 PM | 2 comments
ABOUT MONCH
Lefty. Bookworm. Loves to write. Chocoholic. Hyper at times. Not as sweet as this blog looks.

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