Monday, January 26, 2004
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Mio's such a sweetie. She gave me a magazine because it had a feature on *guilty giggle* Vic Zhu. She remembered me when she saw it on her magazine. Bah. I am obsessed with Vic. I digress: I was supposed to upload a this cutie pic of Vic I got, but it seems that my Village photos account is gone. Wonder what happened.
My super has been calling us for a one-on-one consultation with him. Today was my turn. When he asked me how I was, I said, "Okay lang" to which he replied, "Delikado ata yang sagot na yan". I'm not really sure how I looked when I said that, but my face is pretty transparent. Anyway, I told him I was tired, stressed and very burned out. I told him I was so tinatamad and very demoralized. He wasn't surprised, as it could be seen through my stats. We chatted some more and I couldn't help but think I was not being entirely honest with him--I just couldn't think of how to say that I was truly, truly tired of the changes, the hassle and the stress. Although he said that my feelings were normal and soon enough, everything at work will stabilize, I'm not so sure I can. I'm just tired. I already ate my emergency chocolate bar (Mio and I keep one in our pedestals just in case of a sudden attack of bad feelings). Hmm. Maybe this is a phase: I go through ups and downs and I can tell usually when it will end. But this down phase has gone on longer than I expected and it has me wondering what I should do next. Because I know there is no way to go but up from here... but I wonder when and how. *sigh*
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Friday, January 23, 2004
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Friday Five
At this moment, what is/are your favorite... 1. ...songs? A lot! I just downloaded a lot of songs that I like. There's "Officially Missing You" by Tamia, "White Flag" by Dido. And of course, "Waiting in Vain" by Annie Lennox, "Dove" and "Acrobats" by Moony. Beyonce's "Me Myself and I" is beginning to grow on me. 2. ...food? Spaghetti! 3. ...tv shows? "Roswell" and "Friends"! I don't get to watch TV all that much, but I make it a point to watch those two. There's no new season of "The Amazing Race" yet. :( 4. ...scents? Bath & Body Works' Daffodil Fields, Sweet Pea and Sun Raspberry. 5. ...quote? I got this from Candy's Sweet Reminders: Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This is my day of opportunity. - Dan Custer. I've been mulling over that for quite a while now.
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Tuesday, January 20, 2004
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My newest vice is eating Doritos Smokin' BBQ chips (super sarap! How come I only discovered this now? Is it new?) and reading Mai Mai's back issues of YES magazing while working. Both (eating and reading magazines while working) are not allowed, but promise it helps pass the time at work. Work, as usual, is tiring and frustrating. But leave me with the chips, magazines and Choc Nut, I think I'll sort of live for now.
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Saturday, January 17, 2004
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After log on Saturdays or sixth days, I usually take a cab to Mega or Shang to meet up with my parents. I leave unobtrusively as possible, maybe because people leave ahead of me sometimes. Me and my pending. Today, though, I left in a flurry of "take cares" and "text me the plate of the cab!" Mio was particularly concerned because she actually witnessed a taxi being held up last night. With that, Pa Bo bugged me to text him the plate--so did Mio and Dianie. I sort of complied, but there was no plate painted inside the cab so I just kept my phone on Pa Bo's name, ready to ring him just in case anything happened (which thankfully nothing did). I also remembered my guardian angel.
I was a bit surprised by their concern, they just seemed so worried. I mean, I commute almost everyday, it's not a cab ride (jeep, FX, etc) and I don't inspire this much worry from my friends. Sa bagay, I also tell my friends who take cabs to text me the plate number just in case. Something changed in them today after Mio's terrible story. But you never know nga naman, especially when you hear first hand or second hand experiences from people around you, not just from the newspapers. I used to feel sort of "invincible" because I think I'm pretty much the kind of person who sort of blends in and I carry around pepper spray. It's just that no one feels safe anymore and when people around you are starting to feel paranoid, it rubs off already. Besides, I've come to think that the pepper spray's not enough and being street smart is one way to live here. I feel bad not trusting people around me or even those who are supposed to protect people. But what can anyone do? I suppose I'm just too naive to see that the world is not as simple as I want it to be.
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Monday, January 12, 2004
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Can I be anymore careless, shunga and all that? I am currently in pain and can hardly type (much easier than writing, trust me). I accidentally slammed a door on my strong hand, so the three middle fingers are rendered numb and useless for the most part of the afternoon. Really. I was half in tears already, bugging Papa Bo what to do. He gave me a plastic bag and told me to use it as a cold compress. Now there's no more ice in the pantry fridge--I emptied the ice tray and my hand sat under a bag of ice for the whole afternoon. *boohoo* It hurts. I hope my nails don't die, that's three freaking fingers! *ouch*
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Friday, January 09, 2004
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I found it kind of late to evaluate the year that was, but I was intrigued and amused by the questions, so here goes. :)
1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before? Work 'til late and all those team outings... never thought I would get a schedule like that, never thought people were as such. 2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Nope, I don't think I kept my resolutions last year (what fitness regimen?). I doubt if I'll make any this year. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yah! One of the eight girls. I'm a proud (but delinquent) godmother to little Marco. 4. Did anyone close to you die? Umm... no, not anyone super close to me. 5. What countries did you visit? None yet. :( 6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003? Self-confidence. I know I can get what I want but I worried too much about what others thought. Maybe I should really think about me this time. 7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? August 1, 2003! Hahaha! 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I would say getting over some traumas at work. There were some changes I was uncomfortable with, but I was able to pull through well enough. *whew* Runner up: trying and learning to manage my finances. Scary--and to be continued this year. 9. What was your biggest failure? Disappointing myself by not meeting my personal expectations, not moving on, making the past year sort of a stand still year. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Just the occasional cough/cold (that makes me sound like I have TB). 11. What was/were the best things you bought? This will be really shallow, but I love my sneakers. :) And my latest pair of jeans. :) 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Sila Lizzie et al. All I can say is, kaya nila and I'm proud of them for that. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The M***. Made life harder. :( 14. Where did most of your money go? Clothes, food, gimmicks. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Uh... days off? 16. What song will always remind you of 2003? "Dove" by Moony, "Waiting in Vain" by Annie Lennox, "Ignition" by R Kelly, "You First Believed" by Hoku 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Neither ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter daw! Oh no! iii. richer or poorer? Neither 18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Wish I went out more. 19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Worry. Regret. 20. How Working! But when I got home my relatives were still there, so I was able to spend some time with them. 22. Did you fall in love in 2003? Goodness, no. 23. How many one-night stands? Nada. 24. What was your favorite TV program? Got hooked on Star World shows like "Charmed", "Cheers", "The Simpsons" and some Nick shows too--"As Told by Ginger". Loved "The Amazing Race". 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No. 26. What was the best book you read? "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? House music, chillout, lounge? (I'm super ignorant about the genre of music, but I asked around and that's what they said). 28. What did you want and got? A lot of books this year. :) 30. What was your favorite film of this year? Oh no. You know what, I'm trying to remember what movie was great this year... can't remember! I have high expectations for Nemo, though, which I will watch one day soon. :) 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Turned 23--spent it working. I can still remember my schedule then, 1-10p. How sad. :( People were asking why I didn't take a birthday leave then. Sayang expense report! 32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Getting a job I really, really want. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003? Hahaha boring, sobra. Considering my office is a bit on the conservative side and they released a dress code that sounded strangely like what college used to have, my personal fashion concept was pretty unremarkable. Lately though, I want to have more color. :) Oh, and I am still with the dangling earrings and I started wearing sneakers again. 34. What/Who kept you sane? Old friends, the Internet, books. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Andy Roddick, Ken and Vic of F4. :) *guilty* 36. What political issue stirred you the most? FPJ running for president. Aargh! 37. Who did you miss? My old friends from college. :( 38. Who was the best new person you met? Ooh, that's a lot. Like my teammates--amazing people. 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003: No one can make things happen for you but you and a lot of prayers and faith. There is no way to go but up in every horrible instance. 40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: Like I said - It's been three years since I'm knocking on your door And still I can knock some more Ooh boy, ooh boy - is it crazy look, I wanna know now For I to knock some more You see In life I know that there is lots of grief But your love is my relief Actually... that didn't really sum up my year as I couldn't find the appropriate song, but for the most part of the year, I've been singing that song. Although this year, I haven't been singing it as much as I used to anymore. I've been deluding myself about some things again, so I decided to move on. Hay.
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Thursday, January 01, 2004
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Here's to 2004!
Sigh. The holidays are almost over and life will be sort of back to normal, only it's a new year. I'm hoping, hoping for the best this 2004. 2003 had a lot of good things, but it was a stand still year for me. Good things from 2003 that I can think of right now: Reconnecting with my old, old friends from grade school and high school, either just through Friendster (yes, I've been pretty hesitant to join Friendster, but now, I'm glad I did... yii, I sound like a testimonial for Friendster). It really feels nice to be connected with them, even if it's just through text or e-mail or Friendster messages. Occasional meetings with my college friends. It's not very often because of work schedules (mine mostly are the hardest to coordinate with), but whenever I meet up with them, I feel like I'm coming home and being myself. Bonding with my team. They're the best. They let me try and go beyond my limits, but they don't lead me astray. :) Hanging out with my family. They're the unfortunate ones who have to listen to me every single day after work--trust me, that's not a good thing (me, getting off from work, that is. I'm very cranky). Buti na lang they can put up with me. My officemates who've left. We still keep in touch and that's the great part of it. I wish we could meet up more though. Definitely more good than bad, I think. :) Hope it will be like that for the new year as well. * * * My New Year Reading A friend lent me "Veronika Decides to Die" by Paulo Coelho in exchange for lending him "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown. Is it an auspicious way to start the year? I read it through the new year, stopping only when we had the fireworks and media noche. I had to agree on why she wanted to die--who doesn't feel that way? But life is something to be celebrated, even with the futility of everything around us. I already finished it, but just like other books by Paulo Coelho, but I'll be re-reading it again to absorb the full meaning and discover other thoughts a long the way. * * * Let's see. The Fab Team Holiday dinner was fun. It was my first time at Lizzie's place, much to everyone's surprise. Not everyone was there, but it was still interesting. There was the usual inuman, asaran and kwentuhan especially about the people around us (we're all chismoso that way). They are so funny! They gave me a bottle of blueberry Vodka Cruiser and told me to finish it in one hour! Hee, a time limit, as it takes me forever to finish a bottle. Kuya mentioned that the Fab Team would have another outing (!) with lots of peer pressure and he offered me that if he gets Crushable to come along; what would I give him in return (credit to casa ba?). Last Saturday, I said I would give it some thought, but after Ais' kwento about Crushable yesterday, no thanks. Super turn off. I don't like Crushable anymore. Like Jerk, he's not perfect anymore, too good to be true. How sad is that. :(
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