Friday, June 10, 2005
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I had my worst anxiety attack today. :( My anxiety attacks happen occasionally--although it's been resurfacing more often lately. It begins with my heart beating very fast, unable to breathe and trying to throw up (but nothing coming out). I hate that. The attacks usually last for fifteen minutes upon starting work then I'm okay already. As long as I stay quiet and am near the washroom, I'm okay. I usually look really sick, complete with a glassy-eyed look about me that makes people offer me candy or medicines. Today though, I couldn't work at all. I actually had to advise the super that I could not work "for a bit" and had to breathe easy. Sigh. I just stayed still for more than an hour because I really really could not work. I just sat there, bugging my seatmates who admitted I did not look well. As long as I was not doing anything, I was okay. My friends agree it's an anxiety attack or because of stress. Strange why I was stressed: it's Friday, the last day of the weekand everything is pretty relaxed. I know it's not something psychological--I'm learning to let go and take things as they come. Friday started out normal with me coming in early and bugging Patty for DH updates. I was able to go to McDonald's to satisfy a hot chocolate craving. So strange why my anxiety attack occurred. I guess it's been building up for the past week. Gaah. So it's a turning point, a sign, according to my seatmates. The attacks are recurring (?) more frequently now and it scares me. I think, even if my mind tells me such that I can take it, my body already is reacting. Hmm, it seems my heart is working with my body while my mind is rebelling. Hay. Even though I was able to work for the rest of the day, I'm still feeling sensitive and plain awful! I don't like this feeling talaga, I'm not quite sure how to address it, though.
Posted at 11:08 PM |
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1 Comments:
take care of yourself, monch. stop working so hard. maybe you can also try some meditational exercises to help you relax?
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